| sad/confused/frustrated |
[Apr. 4th, 2007|01:12 am] |
been a lil while but when i get upset or sad or whatever is when i tend to post so that is maybe a good thing but maybe not . i dunno. anyways still looking for a job, no calls, no one is hiring and i have a feeling im gonna end up working in a hell hole so that sucks. money sucks period.
so something that has bothered me is the Dave Matthews concerts this summer. i love the shows and im going to one, id love to go to both but not having a ton of cash or a job kinda sucks cause u cant afford to much. the other issue i have with it is my "lack of friends", or at least a wide enough array of people that i hang out with that like Dave and stuff. most of my good friends are metal heads and i dunno, feel like i don't have enough of a social life which sucks. that and the amount of school work has been getting to me. ive been working harder then i ever have at school and cant even seem to get above like a c plus average. i mean some classes are like a plus, but then everythign else is lower. i mean maybe im just being pessimistic but i dunno. ive seem to have a hard time of it lately. gotta talk to someone about this stuff i suppose. just cant seem to deal with the pressure of life properly. i just feel like i cant get ahead sometimes and nothing is coming my way. maybe things arent coming my way because im down about life sometimes. no one likes to b around a pessimist. i think alot of this stems from some of the medical issues ive had lately. deff isnt helping things. im just in one of those ruts where nothing is good enough. dont know what to do. Im tired of the negativity in the world, the news... i mean the terrorism thing, although warrented gets to me, scares me a lil more then it should. i wont go into details of that here. im tired of people lying. life is to short. if u have somethign u need to say it otherwise ur kind of living a lie. u cant be afraid of failure, or hurting people if thats honestly how u feel. i mean dont go all nazi on me, u need to have an open mind and be able to challenge ur beliefs, but be honest while still being caring about it. just because u dont like somethign doesnt mean u have to b a bitch about it. ne ways, im just tired of stuff in general. doesnt seem like there is ne thing worth going for in the future. like ive felt this before if i have big stuff coming up i feel good, but theres nothing there. like yea a dave concert but so what, im not spending it with people i enjoy so it feels like a wasted experience. im going on vacation, but vacations fade away and again i feel like it wont b those memories type thing. maybe im crazy, maybe it doesnt make sense. maybe i babble but thats what im getting at, thats what life seems to be to me. just babbling nonsense with no purpose. why do i feel like i need to live wiht a purpose.
maybe i need some help... i feel like i knwo the problems, and part of the solution, but the actions are lost in translation...
Always Adam A. Lobaugh |
|
|
| UPDATES |
[Feb. 28th, 2007|09:28 pm] |
so heres my deal. literally nothing has been new for me in about 3 weeks, and its getting old really quick. at first i thought it was a good thing cause when new shit happens to me its usually bad, but damn, this might be worse then that. socially nothing is going on. school is school, and the family is good but boring as hell. and i have no plans at all in the coming weeks. dmb tour dates should b coming out soon so i will prolly be requesting tickets for that. but otherwise, not a damn thing. "save me from myself"
ne ways. heres the question of the day. if you were to be given a limited amount of time to live. either short (24 hours or so), or lets say one month, what would you do. (obviously i expect 2 answers for each amount of time).
i like these questions. i think they make u think about what kind of person you are and how you think of yourself. do it up |
|
|
| highlight of my day |
[Feb. 17th, 2007|10:58 pm] |
so the highlight of my day, touching a live alligator. i mean come on, thats not something u get to do everyday. what do u think about that. what else is good wiht all of yall. hows ur long weekend working out. MONEY CASH HOES lol.
yea im a lil bored irght now, watching the all star slam dunk contest. could b worse i suppose. yo my mom even said i was a little off. she asked me what im gonna do when my parents are gone for a week in florida. and im like i have no idea. she said u really need to get a gf and bring her to the house. MY OWN MOM SAID THAT. DAMN |
|
|
| ask me go ahead |
[Feb. 15th, 2007|06:54 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  restless | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | frank sinatra | ] |
ask me anything and i will answer u honestly. thats just the kind of person i am. lately i seem to be pissing people off cause im being honest. i hate those people thta get pissed off. i dunno. i do alot of thinking about what i want and what im gonna do in the future. u know how that is. more cysts going on, im up to like 6. yea 6. i dont know whats going on. obviously a little worried about that but i think i have all rights to be. but uh keep me up to date on u and whats going on. long weekend wiht nothing goin on. hit me up. |
|
|
| NEW ALBUM |
[Feb. 7th, 2007|10:11 pm] |
so i decided the other day its time to write an album and im like dedicated to this. im planning on an EP (which for those of u who dont know that means extended-play, usually 8 or less tracks on the cd, but it really has to do with the amount of time total.) im planning right now on 5 songs. heres a tentative track listing...
1. Trust
2. What it is
3. Empty Chamber
4. Street Light Silouette
5. 2nd Chance
im not sure yet on the album name, or even what title im going to use for the "band" even though it is all my writing and will most likely be a "temporary band" of about 2 or 3 guys doing the whole recording, meaning i might end up playing multiple parts which is cool. if u have ne ideas or recommendations on titles i might use for a band name or album title let me know. its mostly rock music, aroudn the style of a shinedown type band, perhaps a lil harder. i was thikning of naming the cd after one of the tracks, i like them all, but What it is and Empty Chamber stand out, as does street light silouette (the slower song on the album). im excited to get this goign and actually have some original music that i can keep forever and say that i created it. im sure there will be more information to come as i record it and whatever else. o yea... |
|
|
| UR MAKING ME VERY ANGRY |
[Feb. 3rd, 2007|04:58 pm] |
man im just in a mood. got the cyst out the other day (just one of them) and they have me on antibiodics and they are tearin through me emotionally right now. im so angry at every little hting. i feel like the incredible hulk, that i would just destroy ne hting and everything in my way. other than that ive just been doing home work. pain in the ass statistics and workin on other crap for marketing and i dont think im nearly done for the weekend which pisses me off. i gotta go online and print off hw for class. i dont even knwo whats going on ne more. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR. ne one wanna fight. im listening to metallica, GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR. |
|
|
| what it is |
[Jan. 21st, 2007|07:28 pm] |
welcome to my weekly blog. (from now on its gonna be weekly cause i dont come on to this site nearly enough. hell it might go monthly and date i say yearly). ne ways, my question for the day is why do people lie. theres points when we all lie, lie about things like christmas presents, and we have all lied ot get out of some sort of trouble. but honesty is always better, even if u get in trouble. the punishment is usually worse when u r caught cheeting. i didnt get in trouble or ne thing, im a bit beyond that, im just sayin people lie about everything. my mom didnt get paid from one of her daycare parents and there was lying in that. sometimes people lie just to lie. lie about there feelings or whatever. i say screw that. so tell me about a time u have lied when u wish u hadnt, and tell me what uthink about lying.
word to ur mother
Adam A. Lobaugh |
|
|
| o yea |
[Jan. 19th, 2007|01:56 am] |
been a long time since ive posted. WHAT UP KIDS
so whats new
a little depressed, 2 damn cysts, one ive had for over 3 months, another is going to be removed feb 2nd. u know how that shit is, or maybe u dont, but i hate surgery.
im an uncle* (not official but who the hell cares) my best friend had a baby girl victoria. cutest little thing ever. i stayed in the hospital for over 12 hours waiting for her (long labor) but i got to hold her that night. one of the first lol. what a feeling. blew my mind
school starts soon, thats another ordeal with getting placement in classes. ccsu has no law program so im gonna have to start looking at other schools. can u imagine me as a lawyer. make something of myself. im still really bored with shit at this moment. life just seems at a stand still, or if ne thing moving backward. its like ive been waiting for somethign big and good to happen for years and it hasnt come and u feel like u cant move on if this is the only thing there is. im prolly not alone in the world with that feeling but what do u do. ive been watching a lot of the sopranos on dvd lately. show was brilliantly written. coming from a guy whos done the depression, spent time in psyc offices and shit, let me tell u that the way the minds progress is fantastic, and dialog is even better. times up...
hit me up, i could really use the company
p.s. notice the bored alien on my thing has a tear coming from it, thats about right... |
|
|
| TORN UP |
[Sep. 25th, 2006|10:49 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  indescribable | ] |
IM so fuckin upset right now. it started out as a joke. i wrote just a simple joke on a guys wall on myspace. one of my best friends. he took the joke completely out of context, kid doesnt even want to be my friend. maybe im wrong, maybe i shouldnt have written it, but i didnt think it would ever go to where it did. i wrote:
man, why must we rage agaisnt the machine. we should love the machine, embrace it for all its flaws. its like the child you love even after the divorce. lets love the machine.
well now i find out, that his gf is pregnant. now in the past i did say i wasnt fond of her, but i always made sure to mention that i respect his feelings and thoughts. i get an email saying he cant belive i would ever do that (me either). he doesnt even want to speak to me, took me off buddy lists and everything. im shocked. i thought he would at least talk to me about it. what do i do. it was a joke. i hadnt talked to the guy in awhile and wanted to catch up. this kid mean alot to me. first time at a strip club, he was there. weve had parties together, he taught me guitar, hell i told him more then i tell msot people. im just in a whirlwind. this is fucking insane. i cant sleep. WTF DO I DO. |
|
|
| ok here we go |
[Sep. 17th, 2006|10:13 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  confused | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | SPINAL TAP | ] |
been a minute, some catching up, here we go.
got the school thing straitened up, my challenge is to keep studing and writing notes and stuff. u know
printed up flyers, gotta put them at school in order to try to start a band. looking forward to the whole thign, but still stuff to do. i dunno.
still looking for a new vehicle, found a nicer one today, but it was a rental car, i dont want a car thats been beaten on, thats like marrying a hooker.
met this really cool girl at the beginning of school, been talkin to her a lil bit, i thought she was kinda into me to, certain lil hints, went to ask her out for this weekend but she said she was busy with work and she had a party to go to. im bad at these things. is that what is really goin on, or is she tryin to say thats not what shes lookin for. whatever.
big e today. meh. same thing every year, however i did win 15 dollars on a mass lottery ticket. BOYAH
tis abotu it, what it is
Adam |
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
| |
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=92.1){kind=small}
adam11686's journal
angry
blah
bored